Friday, May 02, 2008
Guppies and Goldfish...who knew they were so delicate?
So being the fabulous science teacher that I am, I decide that the second graders will raise guppies as part of their life science unit. Not only will we raise the guppies but we will build them tiny fish homes out of two liter bottles, aquarium rocks, and aquatic plants. Now I am not a novice at this, we did this two years ago. It worked beautifully. The guppies were happy in their two liter home and there were many happy second graders. The guppies even obliged us by having babies. Oh sure they ate some of their young but really there were quite a few. The kids didnt seem to really care. Anyway earlier this week I decide its time to go and purchase the guppies. Now the last time we did this one of the other teachers took care of procuring the fish so this was new territory for me.
My kids and I arrive at Petsmart in our lovely little suburb around 5 p.m. I am super tired, I just want to buy guppies and get the heck out of there. We go up to the fish person who is looking oh so busy twirling her hair and smacking her gum. Below is our conversation. I will just call her FP (fish person).
Me: Hi I need some guppies.
Me: I need some guppies, about 20 or so
FP: What kind?
Me: The cheap kind.
FP: What kind is that?
Me: Ummmm I dont know maybe feeder guppies?
FP: We have these.... waves her hand towards a tank. I see those guppies are 1.29 a piece.
Me: Wow thats a lot for feeder guppies.
FP: no not really. Look these are more... waves hand towards guppies that are 2.54 each
Me: I think these are maybe way more fancy than I need.
FP: You do have a filter and heater right?
FP: you need a filter and a heater
Me: I didnt last time.
FP: I am a fish expert, you need a filter and a heater
My boy: MOOOOOOMMMM when are we getting fish... I want some. I want some to keeeeeppppppp!!!
Me: Look fish person I just need 20 guppies, cheap. They are going to a bunch of school kids. They will live in 2 liter bottles. I have done this before
FP: oh no you cant do that
My boy: MOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM can I have this snake. PLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE??????
Me: ok fine what about goldfish. I can improvise. You have cheap goldfish?
FP: Gold fish need a filter.
Me: Are you freaking kidding me???
FP: Gold fish waste is highly toxic. Without a filter the goldfish will die in 3 days
Me: Are you for real?
FP: I am a fish expert. I am telling you they need a filter
My boy: MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM I need a bird....look my hand fits in the cage.... pleeeeeeeese?????
Me: Look lady, I had goldfish that I bought at woolworths when I was 12. They lived in a tiny bowl that I rarely changed the water in. They were still alive when I left for college. Then I think my mom killed them. Point is they had no filter. I am not for a minute believing this crap about goldfish needing a filter.
FP: I cant sell you any fish
Me: Are you kidding? What fish go in the fish bowl if you need a filter for everything
FP Betas. i can sale you betas.
ME: yah. you think I am buying 20 betas at 5 bucks a pop? Are you on drugs?
FP: Look lady I am highly trained and I am not selling you any fish if you arent going to put them in a tank with a filter.
ME: yah ok, you arent selling me any fish
So I extract my child from the parrot cage. Remove my daughter from the rabbits and get the heck out of that crazy fish store. I call up Capitol Aquarium. Hi there, I need some guppies. Feeder guppies
CA: sure we have those
Me: how much
CA 15 cents each
Me: do I have to buy a filter?
CA: are you kidding? for feeder guppies?
Yah I new that FP was insane! I just cant figure out why. So the guppy saga continues. I buy them Monday. I will let you know if they all go belly up.