Monday, November 03, 2008

Gym Attire

On Saturday I hit the gym to try and work off the 5 lbs of candy that I have consumed. I got there late and missed the spin class... I wasn't terribly sad because Michele was the instructor. The only other class being offered was Zumba. I like to watch and laugh at them from the spin room... they look so funny dancing around... but I wasn't about to put myself in there. I have two left feet and no rhythm at all. So I headed upstairs to my friend the elliptical. I like the elliptical about as much as I like having my teeth pulled but it is better than the treadmill and stairmaster. Anyway I hop onto the elliptical and put on my headphones and try to psych myself up for a good workout. So I am cruising along, minding my own business, staring at the elliptical in front of me when suddenly I feel sick. Why? Because a man hopped on the very empty elliptical I had been staring at. This man was not in shape, which is fine-neither am I- thats why we are here. However he was wearing shiny spandex running pants and a tucked in tank top. Now folks, if you need to lose 50 lbs you should be at the gym. You should wear something comfortable. You should not wear shiny spandex pants that hug every ripple and dimple of fat. If you are a man and your stomach is 5x larger than your legs you should not wear spandex and you should definitely not tuck in your wife beater. And if you dont follow those rules than please, I beg of you do not bend over and display the very large rip in the crotch of your pants. I think I went a little blind. And then all through the rest of my work out I had to watch this crazy man jiggling in shiny pants with his underwear hanging out. I guess it could have been worse, he could have NOT been wearing underwear.


Samantha said...

Ewwwwwwww!! I now have this awful mental picture!! See, this is exactly why I don't go to the gym - the risk of blindness is too high!

Kudos to you for getting in shape. I need to shed that extra candy-fat myself!

moster said...

hee hee. Made me laugh out loud on a day when I'm feeling pretty cr@ppy. Thanks!

Melony said...

Thanks for not taking any pictures...I already feel the need to poke out my minds eye...:)