Whoohooo!

I added some links in the sidebar. Eh, it only took me the better part of an hour to figure it out. But I DID IT! I feel so proud!






I am back from my trip to the City. It was so pleasant to be free to shop for as long as I wanted. Much money was left in the city by the bay. The Macy's there rocks! 7 stories! Freaking amazing! Shoes take up almost one whole floor, truely a sight to behold. Alas, I was mostly buying for others, however I did manage to score a few things for myself.

It's December...

so I thought I would stop by and check on this sad little rag I have created. Yep, its still here. Yep, its still pitiful. First off I would like to thank TKW for being my audience! If you surfed in and you arent TKW, I tell you go to her blog, its everything mine isn't, beginning with entertaining. I urge you to hang out there.

So since its December I am heading to the City. And by city I mean San Francisco. It is time to shop. More importantly it is time to shop without my kids! So I have two glorious days to spend in the city with my girlfriend and without little hands tugging on me, little voices whining at me, and little feet stomping constantly. I will get to eat a meal without jumping up 50 times and deciding just how many bites deserves dessert. I will get to partake in adult beverages! In short I will be having a glorious time!

Until next time... take care!

Cue the funeral music

I am currently mourning my favorite pair of jeans. I loved them. They were Hilfiger. They fit perfectly, not to high (would NOT qualify for mom jeans) but not to low (my ass didnt hang out like a teenagers). I am going to miss them. They had this little hole by the back pocket, I could see it was getting really worn...I was going to sew it, but it seems I never had the time. Now its too late, the hole got caught on my chair and I managed to tear a 6 inch hole. Yep not a pleasing look on the butt, especially my large butt. And so I am very sad and I have one remaining pair of jeans that fit. So either I drop 10 pounds (in which I could then put on the other pairs in my closet) or I got shopping. Right now I am going to go cry.

The World is Full of Morons

And they all seem to be attracted to me. I swear everywhere I go...morons. So this is totally off the subject of being a mom, but I need a place to rant. I went to a concert last night... a kick ass Toby Keith concert... a place where you need to stand up and dance and cheer and scream. I did not pay 80 dollars to sit quietly in the seat bobbing my head gently. Got that morons in the row behind me? This is for you:
Dear Horrid, Rude, Fat ass, low intellect Morons seated behind me:

You are not at a Yanni concert, nor are you watching Michael Bolton. You are watching Toby frieking Keith. You are expected to stand, you are expected to dance, you are expected to have a good time. You should not be demanding the people in front of you sit down, you should not be whining about how you are so fat you cant stand. If you are that messed up you should have purchased your fat ass a handicap spot. Got it?

The next time you make the mistake of trying to body check me with your 350 pound body I am going to knock your ass to the ground. The only reason you got away with it this time was I feared you would topple on top of me. If you want to sit and quietly watch Toby without moving I suggest you rent your dumbass a video.

Thank you for indulging me. Back to the regular boring nonsense.

You know you're a mom when...

you create a blog in May and the next time you actually have time to try to post on it, its September!

Truly though I only created this thing so I could comment on others. I love reading blogs...not so much with the writing. With the writing I sit here and think...is this boring? is this lame? (i would say a resounding yes!) is the spelling right? (I am a school teacher so I worry about these things.) I know the grammer and punctuation is shot. But hey I feel honored that I had two comments! Thank you, TKW and Kami, I am honored you stopped by...and embarrassed that I had no clue until today. I read your blogs nearly each day, you guys crack me up. Keep up the good work!

You Know You're a Mom When...

you actually start to believe that kisses make owies better. (And you actually start using the word owie in serious conversation!)

You know you're a mom when...

...you feel like you have won the lottery because the free child care at the grocery store is OPEN!

You know you're a Mom when....

...you see toenails in your tea and consider drinking it anyway.