Wild Card Wednesday

Wild Card Wednesday brought to you by the fabulously funny, TKW. This is my boy...looking up from under our sink while the hubs was trying to install a new garbage disposal. So there you have it my WIDE eyed son in our very WHITE sink!

LOTR SAM- Extreme Weapons Edition

My boy, he is 3, he loves weapons. Why? I dont know, I guess because he is a boy. Anyway he's got a zillion action figures and even more weapons. He wants nothing to do with an action figure that doesn't come with weapons. Today I tripped over this guy, that would be Sam from Lord of the Rings. (Which, btw, is a movie I have never watched and probably never will). Anyhow Sam came with just a frying pan, which my son decided was no kind of weapon, so he modified Sam. Now Sam has an arsenal...ready to do battle with anyone or anything.

Why Is It?

Why is it when kids vomit they can never get to the toilet? Or just lean over and hit just one spot on the carpet? No, they have to throw up on the bed covers, the sheets, the dust ruffle, and a crap load of stuffed animals. And then when you are summoned at 4 am, you need to do the laundry, and figure out how to launder stuffed animals, and move the mattress to somehow get the dust ruffle without spilling puke everywhere. Now if confronted with this problem at say, 4pm I might be able to figure it out. However at 4am I am just not in my zone and puke ends up everywhere, which of course means more cleaning. Somedays Mom is a pretty thankless job.

One Last Wildlife Shot

I was looking at that other photo and I noticed Tiny looked kind of evil. See he is ever so much cuter here.

Suburban Wildlife

Look at this adorable little thing we found in our backyard! Dontcha want one? We were alerted to its presence by my son who was standing at the sliding glass door screaming, RAT! MAMA! RAT! I fully expected to see a huge rat...but we saw this little guy instead. (It's a baby possum) My cats really wanted to have it for lunch so I made the hubs pick it up and move it to a safer location. But apparently possums are extremly stupid because "Tiny" here decided to go back to the patio and sit in the cat's food dish. We moved "Tiny" again because my children wouldnt stop screaming. He came back to the patio. By this time my husband was getting sick of being hissed at and nearly chomped by Tiny. However we convinced him to relocate Tiny one more time. Last I saw Tiny he had several cats stalking him but he wouldnt stay hidden. I told the children Tiny's mom came back and got him....but I am not entirely certain thats what happened...however no remains have been recovered.

Sometimes Life Sucks

So I found out yesterday my aunt has rapid spreading small cell lung cancer. wow. sometimes life just plain sucks. The prognosis doesnt look good so far. I am hoping for the best but it seems its probably going to go the other way.

Come to the Dark Side

Why the picture of Darth Vadar? Well I finally managed to upload a pic and unfortunatly I had clicked on the wrong one. Ehhh oh well, live and learn.

So that pic is from our little trip to Disneyland. I am a west coast girl so we always go to disney LAND, not to be confused with the much larger Disney WORLD. It was a fun little trip, especially if you enjoy 7 hour car rides with two kids, eating over price burgers for a week, and sleeping on a lumpy bed thats two sizes two small. Oh and lets not forget the money sucking drain that is the Magic Kingdom. I cannot believe how much green they sucked out of my pocket this time. Most of it spent at the star trader, after my son did not get picked to join the jedi training for the third time. Yes it took numerous toys and copious amounts of money to soothe his broken three year old heart. Thats some marketing plan disney is working.

Sad and pathetic

So apparently its national delurking week? Who knew? Not me, obviously. Anyhow since I have been delurking at the many blogs I frequent I thought, oh no! now they may come and see my pathetic and sad little corner of internet. I should go clean it up! I should get my blog ready for company! Add pictures, put up links, make it snazzy! Those were my intentions...honest to God. However I got here and well it just seemed like it would take so LONG. So if you are stopping by for the first (and probably only)time please know I would have cleaned up but I am so lazy! Instead I will just come and visit you!

Sincerely,
Iamderby (who would probably be better named, Iamlazy)

Whoohooo!

I added some links in the sidebar. Eh, it only took me the better part of an hour to figure it out. But I DID IT! I feel so proud!






I am back from my trip to the City. It was so pleasant to be free to shop for as long as I wanted. Much money was left in the city by the bay. The Macy's there rocks! 7 stories! Freaking amazing! Shoes take up almost one whole floor, truely a sight to behold. Alas, I was mostly buying for others, however I did manage to score a few things for myself.

It's December...

so I thought I would stop by and check on this sad little rag I have created. Yep, its still here. Yep, its still pitiful. First off I would like to thank TKW for being my audience! If you surfed in and you arent TKW, I tell you go to her blog, its everything mine isn't, beginning with entertaining. I urge you to hang out there.

So since its December I am heading to the City. And by city I mean San Francisco. It is time to shop. More importantly it is time to shop without my kids! So I have two glorious days to spend in the city with my girlfriend and without little hands tugging on me, little voices whining at me, and little feet stomping constantly. I will get to eat a meal without jumping up 50 times and deciding just how many bites deserves dessert. I will get to partake in adult beverages! In short I will be having a glorious time!

Until next time... take care!

Cue the funeral music

I am currently mourning my favorite pair of jeans. I loved them. They were Hilfiger. They fit perfectly, not to high (would NOT qualify for mom jeans) but not to low (my ass didnt hang out like a teenagers). I am going to miss them. They had this little hole by the back pocket, I could see it was getting really worn...I was going to sew it, but it seems I never had the time. Now its too late, the hole got caught on my chair and I managed to tear a 6 inch hole. Yep not a pleasing look on the butt, especially my large butt. And so I am very sad and I have one remaining pair of jeans that fit. So either I drop 10 pounds (in which I could then put on the other pairs in my closet) or I got shopping. Right now I am going to go cry.

The World is Full of Morons

And they all seem to be attracted to me. I swear everywhere I go...morons. So this is totally off the subject of being a mom, but I need a place to rant. I went to a concert last night... a kick ass Toby Keith concert... a place where you need to stand up and dance and cheer and scream. I did not pay 80 dollars to sit quietly in the seat bobbing my head gently. Got that morons in the row behind me? This is for you:
Dear Horrid, Rude, Fat ass, low intellect Morons seated behind me:

You are not at a Yanni concert, nor are you watching Michael Bolton. You are watching Toby frieking Keith. You are expected to stand, you are expected to dance, you are expected to have a good time. You should not be demanding the people in front of you sit down, you should not be whining about how you are so fat you cant stand. If you are that messed up you should have purchased your fat ass a handicap spot. Got it?

The next time you make the mistake of trying to body check me with your 350 pound body I am going to knock your ass to the ground. The only reason you got away with it this time was I feared you would topple on top of me. If you want to sit and quietly watch Toby without moving I suggest you rent your dumbass a video.

Thank you for indulging me. Back to the regular boring nonsense.

You know you're a mom when...

you create a blog in May and the next time you actually have time to try to post on it, its September!

Truly though I only created this thing so I could comment on others. I love reading blogs...not so much with the writing. With the writing I sit here and think...is this boring? is this lame? (i would say a resounding yes!) is the spelling right? (I am a school teacher so I worry about these things.) I know the grammer and punctuation is shot. But hey I feel honored that I had two comments! Thank you, TKW and Kami, I am honored you stopped by...and embarrassed that I had no clue until today. I read your blogs nearly each day, you guys crack me up. Keep up the good work!

You Know You're a Mom When...

you actually start to believe that kisses make owies better. (And you actually start using the word owie in serious conversation!)

You know you're a mom when...

...you feel like you have won the lottery because the free child care at the grocery store is OPEN!

You know you're a Mom when....

...you see toenails in your tea and consider drinking it anyway.