Saturday, September 30, 2006

Cue the funeral music

I am currently mourning my favorite pair of jeans. I loved them. They were Hilfiger. They fit perfectly, not to high (would NOT qualify for mom jeans) but not to low (my ass didnt hang out like a teenagers). I am going to miss them. They had this little hole by the back pocket, I could see it was getting really worn...I was going to sew it, but it seems I never had the time. Now its too late, the hole got caught on my chair and I managed to tear a 6 inch hole. Yep not a pleasing look on the butt, especially my large butt. And so I am very sad and I have one remaining pair of jeans that fit. So either I drop 10 pounds (in which I could then put on the other pairs in my closet) or I got shopping. Right now I am going to go cry.

Monday, September 25, 2006

The World is Full of Morons

And they all seem to be attracted to me. I swear everywhere I go...morons. So this is totally off the subject of being a mom, but I need a place to rant. I went to a concert last night... a kick ass Toby Keith concert... a place where you need to stand up and dance and cheer and scream. I did not pay 80 dollars to sit quietly in the seat bobbing my head gently. Got that morons in the row behind me? This is for you:
Dear Horrid, Rude, Fat ass, low intellect Morons seated behind me:

You are not at a Yanni concert, nor are you watching Michael Bolton. You are watching Toby frieking Keith. You are expected to stand, you are expected to dance, you are expected to have a good time. You should not be demanding the people in front of you sit down, you should not be whining about how you are so fat you cant stand. If you are that messed up you should have purchased your fat ass a handicap spot. Got it?

The next time you make the mistake of trying to body check me with your 350 pound body I am going to knock your ass to the ground. The only reason you got away with it this time was I feared you would topple on top of me. If you want to sit and quietly watch Toby without moving I suggest you rent your dumbass a video.

Thank you for indulging me. Back to the regular boring nonsense.

Saturday, September 23, 2006

You know you're a mom when...

you create a blog in May and the next time you actually have time to try to post on it, its September!

Truly though I only created this thing so I could comment on others. I love reading blogs...not so much with the writing. With the writing I sit here and this boring? is this lame? (i would say a resounding yes!) is the spelling right? (I am a school teacher so I worry about these things.) I know the grammer and punctuation is shot. But hey I feel honored that I had two comments! Thank you, TKW and Kami, I am honored you stopped by...and embarrassed that I had no clue until today. I read your blogs nearly each day, you guys crack me up. Keep up the good work!